The Mother of All Put-Downs

Umm...Mom, feel free to skip this post :)

I'm constantly surprised by the number of people who haven't heard Pink's new club-hit called "You and Your Hand". And thats when I have to remind myself that not everyone spends every free minute on weekend nights dancing in their town's hottest clubs. That, not everyone likes to spend hours gyrating with abandon to the latest amazing beats, crushed between a gaggle of gorgeous toned bodies, the alcohol buzz just loud enough to drown out the voice telling you that your dancing sucks, body thrumming as one with the all the rest on the dance-floor, collectively generating a heat-wave that overwhelms the air-conditioning and leaches out those apple-martini imbibed calories into abs-crunching dance-moves. I've never understood why.

OK I romanticise a little bit. Yeah...the beats can usually be more accurately described as brain-numbing, the bodies are often sweaty, please-put-your-shirt-back-on kind. That voice in your head - the one valiantly trying to tell you your dancing sucks? Its right...and you're better off not drowning it out. And there's no space to move in a self-respecting club let alone let loose with abs-crunches. But on the whole, clubbing is a ton of fun. It is!

Anyway getting back to the main point...a lot of people don't seem to have heard about Pink's latest club-hit called "You and Your Hand"

I love the song - its very very danceable - specially in the remix version thats played almost daily on Energy. Energy, to give you some context, is my favorite Bay Area FM station (energy927fm.com). They play hard core dance tracks 24/7 with a wonderful lack of irony. For example, they'll play "I can't wait for the weekend to begin" on Monday mornings, just when you're stuck in a traffic jam on Highway 101, on the way to work.

Again, back to Pink's song. The reason I really love it is because the lyrics are steeped in a huge vat of pure, wonderfully unchecked sarcasm with the power to eviscerate any and all dopes in bars who find themselves at the receiving end of the song.

Here's the refrain:

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really wanna mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink, just gimme the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Its the last line that elevates this song, in my mind, to the title of the Mother of All Put-Downs. Its pure unadulterated, pithy, sarcastic genius. Saddam Hussein, who coined the term "Mother of All..."and who was sarcastic till the very end, wryly questioning the bravery of the mob who taunted him as he walked to the gallows, would've approved. I think.

Of course if you're one of those people who do spend every free weekend night minute in clubs - you might appreciate the rather sad irony of singing along to the lyrics.

If you're there. Every weekend night. In that club. Then, you probably can't afford to sing it like you mean it. :)

Not unless you're Pink, anyway