The Squirrel(s) who Ate Too Much - Conclusion

An Allegory in 2000 Chirrups

All characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to an alarmingly over-weight population of a stupendously consumption-driven society may not be purely coincidental. I’m talking about the Yosemite squirrels, of course. No really! :)

Click to read Part I first

Click to read Part II first

Click to read Part III first

Part 4: Darkness

Squirrel FAQs - Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Should I feed squirrels peanuts? (Source: www.squirrels.org)
A: Only if they are unsalted. Too much salt is not good for the squirrel, it increases their heart rate. This in turn, can contribute to an early death.

“Bushy-Brow?”

Bushy-Brow who’d been devouring the delicious pine-nut, oblivious to everything around him, nearly jumped out of his skin. “What? Who is it?” he snarled. “Its me. Wavy.” Said a small voice below him. It sounded a little scared. He turned and looked down to see Wavy-Tail peering up at the branch. “I’m sorry Bushy-Brow. But I heard you and Curly-Whiskers talking about a Pine-Nut Patch and decided to follow you. Where’s the Pine-Nut Patch Bushy-Brow? And why did those Long-Legs take Curly-Whiskers away?”

Bushy-Brow took a deep breath – he had to stay calm and follow the emergency plan that the Long-Legs had told him about.

“You shouldn’t have followed us Wavy.” He said in his best you’ve-been-a-naughty-squirret-but-I'm-still-willing-to-forgive-you voice. “You know squirrets especially are not allowed this side of the hill.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Wailed Wavy. “Please don’t tell Ma. I only wanted to get a pine-nut for her.”

Bushy-Brow made his way down the trunk, carefully holding his pine-nut under his chin. “Hey.” He said kindly, plopping down softly beside the downcast squirret. “You made a mistake but its OK! Curly-Whiskers has gone with the Long-Legs to get the pine-nuts.” He nuzzled Wavy kindly. “Now don't look so disappointed. I’ll let you share a secret treat instead. But you have to help me dig, then."

“Anything!” said Wavy grateful that Bushy-Brow didn’t seem angry anymore. Bushy-Brow hurried over to a nearby tree and started digging with his paws. He moved over a bit to let Wavy in by his side. They both dug hard for about 5 minutes when Wavy felt a different texture under his paws. It was slippery and smooth – not hard and crumbly like dirt. Wavy had never seen anything like it. "OK, move over and let me pull it out”, said Bushy-Brow nudging him away, a little roughly. He caught hold of the plastic packet with his teeth and pulled it out. Wavy could see that there was something that looked like food inside the slippery cover. Bushy-Brow gnawed a large hole through the plastic and then shook it with his teeth until all its contents fell out.

“You’ll love it”, said Bushy-Brow “Its very rare, but it goes bad outside the covering very fast, so you have to eat it all right away. OK? Are you hungry?” “Yes. Yes!” Said Wavy, chasing his tail in excitement. “Ma has been allowing me to eat only 2 hazel-nuts a day. I’m very hungry!”. He pounced on the nuts and started gobbling them up.

“Yeah I’ve not been happy that she’s not doing her part to finish the daily food blessing.” Bushy-Brow said slowly "I’ve let it be for now since I know she’s grieving for Red. But there’s no reason to starve a youngster like you.”

“These are really tasty” said Wavy in delight in between chomps, not really listening. “What are they?”

“They’re called peanuts.” Said Bushy-Brow, looking at him unblinkingly. “These are special peanuts. They have something called salt rubbed on them that makes them taste even better. I'm glad you like them. Eat up then.”

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Curly-Whiskers crouched, scared to death, in the trap lying on its side in the back seat of the car. He could hear the two Long-Legs talking to each other. Then one of them brought the black case close to his mouth and said something to it. He heard the box start chirruping. He could understand the words but still couldn’t quite understand what had happened to him. “I’m telling you”, the box said, “Buying Bushy from that trapper and this Babel-Box were the two best investments we ever made.” The box stopped chirruping. The Long-Legs kept on talking to each other in their strange tongue.

“I agree, man. Its so much easier to train an animal with this thing.” Said Roger. “Pavlov would’ve loved it!”

“Yeah.”, said Fred. “We got ourselves a big guy today. These buggers seem to be really gorging themselves on the nuts and shit. Beats force-feeding those damn geese and ducks. These squirrels are great – they do all our work for us.”

“Yeah. I can’t do force-feeding man! That's cruelty man!” agreed Roger. “But who’d have thought squirrel liver pate would taste so good or get so pricey on the black-market after they banned foie gras!"

"Or" crowed his partner. "that we’d someday become the Squirrel Liver Moguls." "Dayhum! ", he said drawing out the word and savoring the feeling driving it, "Life is good.”

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A dark night had fallen over the hills of Yosemite. Pine-Eyes scampered into the Food Patch trying her best to control the panic that she could feel rising in her stomach. She hadn’t seen Wavy for hours now. He was usually back by moon-rise. Well the moon hadn't risen but that was only because today was its Day-of-Rest.

The Patch was its usual noisy self, squirrels everywhere, over-eating, chirruping nineteen-to-the-dozen and resting after having over-eaten. Only Bushy-Brow was being relatively industrious, intently clearing the brush from the edges of the Patch.

She couldn’t see Wavy amongst the throng gorging themselves at the Patch. She'd been hoping he had defied her and gone to the Patch to eat anyway. But he wasn't there. Where was he?!

“Has anyone seen Wavy?”, she called out, trying to keep the nervous squeak out of her voice. “He went out to play and hasn’t come back yet.”

Barely anyone looked up from their dinner.

Concluded