Tattoos And The Marrying Man

I think I've found a test that single-women-looking-to-get-hitched can use to find out whether a guy they're interested in is going to be able to commit to a long-term relationship. I'd include single gay men in the group that the test would be useful to - if there were any that were looking for commitment. You know I'm kidding, right. Thats only a stereotype - that only the vast majority of gay men fit :)

Anyway, the test is easy - Check to see if he has any tattoos or if he is willing to get one. I've come to believe that tattoos are a great marker for someone who's willing to commit. There are several similarities - between a man with a tattoo and man willing to marry - that I can and will now proceed to point out:

1. Both types of men need to be at least slightly masochistic :)
2. Both need to be willing to live with the same adornment for the rest of their lives (I'm only objectifying women as a man's adornment in interest of rhetoric...otherwise I have a lot of respect for them...really!)
3. Actually I can't think of a third one but one of the things you learn as a consultant is to always have three points when you start out - even if you end up with more or less that that by the end of the explanation.

One of the ways to test this theory would be to look at the British male population. From sailors to bankers to David Beckham, tons of British men from all walks of life seem to have some kinda tattoo somewhere. I'd say, based on the time I spent in London and idle extrapolation, roughly half of the British male population is tattooed. Also, I heard somewhere that Britain has something like a 50% divorce rate. Coincidence?! I think not! I think if someone took the trouble to study this, they'd find its mostly the un-tattooed men that are driving the broken-marriage rate in the UK.

I myself am sporting a black blazing sun tattoo on my left arm these days. It has a dough0nut shaped hole in the center where the core should be. The hole is centered on my small-pox vaccination scar (or maybe its the polio vaccination scar)...a remnant of times when it was considered acceptable to save lives even if it left permanent scars. Thankfully we're moving beyond that kind of thinking in today's Nip/Tuck age :) The tattoo reminds me of a song from SoundGarden called Black Hole Sun which I really like...its their only song that I know, actually.

I got the tattoo in Key West the same night that I cuddled the critter (see previous post) or befriended the boa or petted the python (alliteration is addictive!). Before you conclude that I'm now ready for a long-term monogamous relationship - I should mention that its only a temporary painless henna tattoo. Its already started fading and should be gone in a week or so. Converts to my theory by now, you sigh: if he can't commit to a tattoo - how can he commit to a relationship. In my defense, I like to believe that when I meet the right tattoo...umm, boyfriend...I will commit to it...him...whatever!